I Believe in a Thing Called Love
by otherside2
Summary: For the WIKTT cross dressing challenge, Inspired by the Rock Group The Darkness, i present Severus Snape Rock Icon
1. Disco Harry

Hermione Granger had invited her friends Ron and Harry out to London with her and her girlfriends Padma and Luna, as a break from studying for University exams.  They were walking up and down the street; trying to decide what bar they wanted to go into.  The first played nothing but disco, which only Harry was fond of, and they had to drag him forcibly away.  "Please, no Disco Harry tonight!!" Ron was heard to be screaming, as Hermione and her laughing friends grabbed Harry's other arm as strains of "Kung Fu Fighting" floated through the air.

The next bar was a swing club named the Black Cat, where they stayed for a few songs as Ron spun Hermione and Padma through the likes "Zoot Suit Riot".  Luna was forced to run back to the Disco club when they discovered Harry had gone missing again.

Finally they all agreed on a small little karaoke bar.  The patrons' singing was interspersed with music videos of random bands on huge screens on two walls of the bar.  Hermione settled in with a nice fuzzy navel at the bar, while Harry and Ron went through the music list, and Padma and Luna went to the ladies.   A rather drunk, but slightly familiar slick haired man settled into the stool next to her.  She could feel his eyes staring intently at her.  

"What do you want!?" she asked him, as he continued staring at her.  

"Do you know the way to San Jose?"  He whispered to her.  

"Ummm, no, not really." She answered.  

"Pity" he said, and continued staring at her.

"Do you want anything else?" she asked again

"I want You to want Me?" 

"Argg" she replied, and went to see what Harry and Ron were up to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, I think we should all do YMCA first as a group, and then Good Times, or maybe I Will Survive, I really like that one."  Harry was saying.  Groans answered him.  

"I think we had way too much of your rendition of "I Will Survive" at the party after we defeated Voldemort." Ron nodded vigorously with Hermione.

They relented to all singing YMCA together, and then went to sit at a table, and watched some music videos.  The bar was just beginning to fill.  They watched a very interesting Nine Inch Nails video that inspired Padma to admit that the lead singer reminded her of Professor Snape.  They laughed hard enough to annoy the singers that were starting to sing the next karaoke song, and Padma blushed bright red. 

 But the next video after the singers caught Hermione's attention.  It was a newer group that seemed to have roots in the hair band craze of the eighties.  She was drawn to the lead singer, who seemed very familiar.  

"Now if you're looking for someone to remind you of Snape, there he is," Hermione told the group, pointing to the lead singer on the screen.  Who had just hit a really, really high note.  And was wearing a white rhinestone jumpsuit, with a v down to his navel.

"Is Snape that limber?" Luna remarked, as the singer kicked a leg almost over his head.  

"But look at his face, same nose, same eyes, and he has the same hands."  Hermione insisted.  She always noticed hands.

"With bright red nail polish." Ron noted, "I think Snape would be more of a dark red polish kinda guy."  Harry snorted.

"The nose is the same." Luna finally admitted "Big and ugly"

Hermione could not convince her friends, but she was sure that the man on the screen had to be Snape's long lost brother, or cousin, or something.  

~~**~~

Hermione was still remembering the Snape look-a-like the next day after her exams.  Like most of the Hogwarts girls, she had had a crush on Snape while at school.  She had thought herself over it, but her fantasies had returned to her last night, and now her black robed fetish had turned into a weird jumpsuit fetish.  She found herself getting on her muggle computer, and instead of studying, browsing the bands website.  She found out they were having a concert the next week, in Portsmouth, and ordered a ticket for herself.   

After she ordered the ticket, she tried to remember all she could about Snape after Voldemort was defeated, and found out that she didn't really know what he was doing now.  He had immediately quit his job teaching potions, applied for Defense Against the Dark Arts, been refused again, and then left the school entirely.  'Yes, teaching potions and being a Spy to being in a hair band- right, Hermione', she thought to herself.  'But if it's just his hot younger brother or something at least it would explain why he never wanted to talk about his family….' Her fantasies continued.

Concert day came, and she came early to catch the opening act, and get a good spot by the front.  Her first interesting observation was that the stage smoke was coming from cauldrons, and not from smoke machines.  Could be just normal props for the band she reasoned, as she waited for them to be done with sound check.

"I Think I Love You." A voice whispered by her ear suddenly. She screamed.

"Aren't you that guy from the bar last week! What the hell are you doing here?" she looked on in horror, at the strange slick haired man.  

"I'll Stand by You." He answered, nodding sagely.

"Ok, I suppose you can stand by me, but just don't talk to me anymore."

"Lets Talk About Love." He smirked

"Why don't you just die and put you out of my misery." She groaned, pushing her way farther to the front through the crowd.  

The band came on, and the lead singer came prancing onto the stage.  He had Snape's long black hair; only now instead of slick and greasy it was frizzy and wavy.  A lot like her own hair, she thought, twirling a strand of it.  But his had white blossoms in it for a headband.  She frowned.  But there was the nose… and then she saw his coal black eyes, set off with bright blue eye shadow, and she KNEW it was him.   Not a brother, not a cousin, but one Severus Snape, rock princess.


	2. Why Snape Is Better In Robes

The guitars wailed, but Snape's voice soared higher in falsetto, he kicked, he nanced about, his lips pursed and pouted.  But he could rock.  She jumped up and down and screamed with the fangirls… and with the fanboys.               

            After the concert, she joined the mob getting autographs, and when she made it to Snape, she smirked, and leaned over to talk into his ear, her breath heating the silver cross hanging from his lobe. "Hi Professor Snape, great show."  

He smiled up at her, the smirk he was so good at, but this time it reached his glittering eyes. 

"So you found me out.  I wondered who would discover me first."  He grabbed her arm, and pulled her beside him, and whispered  "Now I have to kill you" Hermione couldn't help herself, she started laughing while Severus dragged her to the bus, much to the disappointment of all the scantily dressed groupies.

"Most people would not laugh at a death threat from me, Miss Granger." He muttered, pulling his flowered headband from his hair.  

Hermione could barely stifle her laughter, pointing at him, and gasping incoherent words.  "It all just finally hit me" she managed finally, as they stopped by the door of the bus, and she leaned her back against it.  "You really are in a.." more explosives giggles  "… hair band. "

"Yes, you have an amazing grasp of the obvious Miss Granger, 10 points to Gryffindor" he said dryly 

More hysterical laughter "Even…. Better… than Neville's Boggart…"

Snape just shook his head and sighed.  "Well, you might as well come on in." he said, opening the door of the bus and walking in, not bothering to see if she was following.

~~**~~

Back on the tour bus Hermione kicked back with some beers, Snape and his band mates, two other wizards and one squib.  She found herself perched on the edge of couch, drying her cheeks of the tears from laughing so hard.  She was suddenly a little nervous about being on a bus with three men she didn't know, and one professor she thought she had figured out, but who apparently had some secrets she would never had guessed at.  Such as a rather sweaty, hairy chest and a penchant for rhinestones.  

"Did you like the show Hermione??"  Evan, the squib asked, tying his frizzy mop into a ponytail, and sipping a Zima.

"I loved you all." she answered, "But why aren't you guys a wizard band instead of trying to make it in the muggle world?"  The looks they gave her then could have given a basilisk pause.

"Potter, its all Potter and Blacks fault." Severus muttered darkly into his drink, suddenly looking much more familiar with an angry scowl, even though the silver lipstick was still alarming.  

A heavy silence followed his words, and Hermione, never one to let matters lie, tried again. "What did Harry's dad and Sirius do?"

Snape cursed, and went to the back of the bus, slamming the door behind him.  Evan sighed, and decided to tell Hermione The Story. 

"Well, you see, back when we all went to Hogwarts, our fifth year we decided to start a band… but even then our music was about the same as what we play today.  But those bastards heard we had started a band, and decided that they should too."

Hermione jumped in her seat as the sound of glass breaking came from the back room.   

"There's a lady present Sev, knock it off lad!"  Angus pounded on the divider to the back of the bus.

"He still takes it a bit hard, lass" Angus explained,  "He can carry a grudge, old Severus can."

Evan continued with his story.  "So there's James, playing lead guitar, and Sirius with these crazy vocals, the music sucked, but there was Sirius going all Ziggy Stardust on us. They had all the glitz, the glam…"

"Goddamn posers."  Perry punched the table  "But the ladies loved them!  Who came to our concerts?  Not anyone, they were all at the Marauders shows."

"They got all the attention, all the girls…" Angus shook his head

"The world just wasn't ready for us yet.  Our time just hadn't come yet, and when the hair band craze came in the eighties…" Evan sighed, "Severus had since gone off like a fool and taken the Dark Mark and we never talked anymore, all the fuss with Voldemort, then the aftermath of the war.  We just didn't feel like playing anymore.  It was a sad time for everyone."

"But now, Severus has finally broken free of Hogwarts, and Voldemort is gone forever, we decided to try it again.  And I think the muggle world is much more appreciative of our art than the wizards ever could be." Perry smiled at her  

"The wizarding world be hanged, I'm through with them!" Snape had come back out with the rest of them, and looked just a little more normal in jeans and a t-shirt.  Hermione had a chance to see that the Dark Mark was only one of many tattoos that Snape sported.  She especially liked the red heart with wings, and "your name here" written inside, on his left bicep.  The dark mark was still very visible and sinister, but so was the buxom naked woman that appeared to be straddling it. She found herself staring at both of them. 

"Yeah, that one really frightened Fudge when he saw it for the first time." Snape said, noticing her interest.

"The Dark Mark would be a very intimidating thing to him."  Hermione said primly

"Nah, he meant the titty-girl!" Angus guffawed "Prolly the first time ol' Cornelius ever saw such a thing!"

Hermione had the grace to blush, and sank down into the cushions of the couch.

"Well, we're headed for the Three Broomsticks for a little after the show relaxation.  Severus, why don't you invite your lady friend along?"  Perry asked, standing and smiling apologetically at Hermione, who managed to blush even redder to his surprise.

Severus on the other hand smiled broadly.  "Of course.  You want to go out for drinks with us darlin?"  

~~~~**~~~~

Authors Note:  Thanks to all of you who see my story as the amusing bit of imagination that I hoped it to be.  I realize this Snape is completely off character and having a bit of fun :) 

I will firmly support my bizarre fascination with the band known as The Darkness.  Falsettos Rock my small minded world.

All reviews are appreciated, the harsh ones serve as more inspiration than one may think.

Natsumi the Pirate Girl I admit I feel for your bookcase, what did it ever do to you?

Falling Alone, all will be revealed…

Barbi-Bee (go fellow cross-dressing challenger!) , and Hobo-Hobisho,  Thanks!!


End file.
